Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Hargrove, the One Fingered Bandit

Class, is defined in the Concise Oxford Dictionary as : elegance, grace and dignity. These traits in no way describe Buzz Hargrove, or anyone else who calls themselves "Buzz" for that matter. Well, maybe with the exeption of Buzz Aldrin. I guess Edwin Aldrin wasn't a cool enough name for him. Hargrove's real first name is Basil. From this point on I will refer to "Buzz" by his Christian name. Perhaps it will remotely transport a bit of elegance, grace and dignity to his profoundly short sighted brain and ingrained sense of spectacular ineptitude.

As if our city's hard earned reputation as the Asshole of Canada needed any more bolstering, we now have the Grand Chancellor of Assholes, Basil Hargrove to thank for his one finger salute to the Prime Minister during his farewell address. He also peppered his final speech with eloquent lamentations such as:

"They don't give a damn about the industry. Not to help the workers and families and communities. They don't give a damn about them,"

and my personal favourite,

"They're doing it trying to convince people that they're good people and they want to buy the votes of the autoworkers."

I had no idea that approximately 4,000 votes were so valuable. Lets do the math. 80,000,000 divided by 4,000 votes comes out to about $20,000 a vote, give or take a few hanging chads. Yeah, that makes perfect sense Basil, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

Perception, unforuntately, is reality in today's society. If people see our "leaders" such as Basil giving the Prime Minister the bird, then what does that say about Windsor's regular people?
Perhaps we could all start some sort of national campaign to convince the rest of Canada that giving the middle finger is a common greeting in Windsor. Let's trick everybody else. C'mon it will be hilarious! Tell them it's a part of our local culture, like a Brooklyn accent, or a Philly cheese steak. That giving the finger in Windsor is a great sign of respect, and that Harper should be honoured at such a gesture. Hargrove was simply thanking his PM in his customary way. We could say things like, "Our mayor gave us the finger last month after announcing the plans for the downtown canal, and we were all so thrilled, it was such a treat. In all my life I've never been so flattered".

All kidding aside this event today simply cements in the collective consciousness of our country that Windsor is a backwater town, not a city, full of loutish, beer swilling losers who wait until after they recieve free money from the government to tell that same government to go fuck themselves. Basil you truly are a master of public relations, a gentleman and a scholar.
I, on behalf of the rest of this city, thank you, Basil for ruining any chance of the Conservative Party, or any other party for that matter, helping us at all in the future. Oh, and can someone tell Basil our economy is about as vibrant and healthy as a man with altitude sickness? I don't think he knows. Maybe his handlers just keep giving him the same 30 newspapers from 1995, over and over again, so in his "mind" we can flip the prime minister off because people come from all over Canada to work in the auto industry, gas is 30 cents a litre, our dollar is worth 50 cents American and that new episode of Seinfeld, the contest, was really hilarious! Have you heard of this thing called the "internet"? He hasnt either.

Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope beyond hope that people suddenly will want to buy Volkswagen and Nissan minivans by the boatload even though they drink as much gas as the domestics.

Food for thought: the Nissan minivan sold a whopping 1,800 units per month last year. They are flying off the shelves, and Windsor "may" get to build them. I love this town and it's optimistic attitude, yet we fail to see the bigger picture. Excuse me while I go over here and bury old Mr. Diversified Economy in the cold earth over here... there we are. Oh and you wont be needing that history book that tells countless tales of countless towns who relied on one industry until that industry finally left. This eventually turned those towns into havens for the greyhairs, or better yet, "service based" economies, but I digress. Let me just throw that into that lovely fire over there... nice and warm isn't it? Don't worry, history never repeats itself.

I will close this evening with some Fun Facts. Hope you enjoy them, and remember, knowledge is power, and so is a Nissan minivan. Also, when in front of guests from out of town, make sure we give each other the finger and show each other a great deal of respect.

-Basil is reknowned throughout the world as the "king of the herbs", and is widely used in Italian cooking. The word basil derives it's meaning from the ancient Greek "basileus" meaning "King". "Buzz" has it's origins in twentieth century North American parlour language, describing a haircut.

Monday, September 08, 2008

A Day in the Life of a Factory Employee

The alarm goes off at 5:30am. Too early, as if I were a farmer who needed to milk his cows. Yet I am not a farmer, I don't have the intrinsic pleasure of working for myself, I work for a large corperation, so I, like almost everyone in this city who has a job, works for someone else.

Bleary eyed, I walk out of my front door into a cold morning that wakes me up better than any coffee could ever do. I walk to a bus stop, sit there looking into idling cars waiting for the lights to change, and smoke a cigarette. The bus comes, the same time every day, and I get on, and see the same faces I see every day.

They converse about how this plant is shutting down and how that plant is close to it. They talk about a fellow who used to ride the bus, as I do, every day to work. His factory closed. He has lost his house. In Windsor, losing your house is a serious thing, a horrible disaster. In this economy when you get knocked down you rarely get up again. People look at buying a house in this city as a status symbol all in its own. As if it were a badge of gentrification, seperating you from all the "renters".

The bus nears my factory. Many of the faces have long since departed, and I am left, alone in my own world, looking at the purple morning sky stretch out before me.

Business is slow. We arent as busy as we once were. We have spurts of activity, but these are mere punctuations in a timeline filled mostly with repetition. Boredom eases into the first break where I have exactly 15 minutes. In these 15 minutes, I sit down, have a cigarette and I think.

People who work in factories think all day long. Ian Curtis, the founder of the band Joy Division said "I loved working in a factory, I could daydream all day." This is the absolute truth. I meditate on all subjects, big and small, ornate and disgusting. I've systematically planned out how I could spend 20,000,000 dollars without spending more than 100,000 on a single thing. I invented a new political system. I've urban planned downtown Windsor to include a light rail system, and an arena that incorperated a canal system into it's design.

Picture an arena downtown with a marina and canal systems surrounding it like a moat, and stretching into the neighbourhood beyond. Adjacent to the arena would be the light rail terminal/underground mall and you could access the arena underground through the terminal across the street, or over one of the many bridges that surround the arena. I see covered bridges and lovely stone bridges arching above the canals, with cool sports bars and pro shops lining an area right next to the venue. I see artsy cafes and artist's studios and indie bookstores lining ouellette, with only a few tourist trap bars, not 50, more like 10 large places, all on the same block. That way the police could watch over the area and the residents wouldn't have to listen to bassy hip hop at 2am because no one would live in this district. It would be built away from downtown, in its own little district near the bridge perhaps.

The light rail system would stretch to it's former borders and beyond, all the way to the big box wasteland of Walker rd and Division. There would be paths exclusively for bicycles and pedestrians stretching all over the city.

But alas, none of these things will ever happen. The arena is finished and sits next to a huge closed auto parts factory on the east end of town, far from the downtown core and the Spitfires' real fanbase. The canal will probably never happen, due to the mind numbing number of hurdles it has to face. The focus groups, the feasibility studies, it could be dragged on forever. If it does finally get built it will either be marketed to seniors and be small and boring, as I have predicted before, or will be used as the site of a massive housing project, replacing the existing projects at Glengarry.

You see, the Glengarry Projects are right next to the Casino, our Taj Mahal of tourism. All the tourists dont want to see a Canadian ghetto, so why not tear the whole lot down and move them all downriver a bit to that old plot of land that was supposed to be a lot of cool things? That way we could build the new steel and glass piece of shit city hall where the ghetto once stood and make the American tourists, who we will do ANYTHING for, feel more comfortable as they exploit our city like a low rent hooker.

I usually end my day at work with a head full of thoughts like the afforementioned. Going home I wait at Devonshire Mall, seeing miles and miles of gas guzzlers ahead of me. Where did we all go wrong? When I see a parking lot, at a mall of all things, filled with suvs of all things, in the most economically depressed city in Canada of all places it makes me wonder why all of those people havent downsized months ago.

I then answer my own question. In times of strife and disarray we cling to what is familiar and real to us. In Windsor, suvs, malls and parking lots are familiar to us. What does this say about the majority of people in this city.

They cant even cut off their hummer to spite their focus.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Geritol Landslide, Close the Gap Between Us

Recently, in the Windsor Star, as most of you know by now, the mayor announced plans to construct a canal system in the much-maligned near-west section of downtown. These canals will be lined with luxurious 300,000 dollar condominiums (urban village, anyone?) lovely docks for 300,000 dollar yachts, and quaint shops. Well, about as quaint as a large contracting firm can make a building, I'm sure. Plans for this site have been numerous, and as of now, completely irrelevant. This is the beginning of something big, the mayor promises.

Boldly, in a rare outburst, Edward proclaimed, "If you don't think we are going to do this, just WATCH us." This behavior from our normally taciturn leader was in response to the droves of his subjects who struggle to believe the mayor is building a bowl of corn flakes in the morning, let alone a large, expensive canal system in the city's core.

Strangely I somehow believe Edward this time. Not because his few brave words stirred revolution in my heart, but because this is all a part of a plan that is now going to come to fruition, and nothing could terrify me more.

What IS this plan, you ask? This devious, malicious, horrifying masterplan? Mr. Francis plans to turn our beloved city into the largest retirement community in Ontario.
I realised this approximately a year ago, after watching the large casino expansion rise above the horizon. I would often think to myself, who is going to gamble in this economy?. Windsor and Detroit have two of the most pathetic excuses for economies in North America, and I could not, at the time, see how it could possibly get better, and just who would be doing all of the slot machine pulling and buffet eating. The mayor seemed to be doing nothing about bringing large companies into our city to create much needed slot machine lever pulling and buffet eating funds for the populace. Yes, he set the table for Sutherland Global, yet I find it impossible to believe someone could support a family with ten dollars an hour. Well, at least it gets some of us off of the system, for now. Mr. Francis also gushes about the lovely service-based economy we should evolve into, out of our manufacturing, neanderthalistic ways. I thought service based jobs (retail, bartending, shooter-girling, stripping) were for college students, since they were mostly part time positions. I guess I've been terribly misinformed.

I've often been puzzled about why Windsor can't be more like Dublin, Limerick, Birmingham, or Manchester. Those cities once lived and breathed the textile and warehousing industries, yet after the second world war, they all became largely derilect, giving birth to countless cases of clinical depression and countless awesome rock bands. They recently saved themselves, becoming host to large technology companies, especially in Ireland. Ireland is now a wonderful place to live, and make money. Why can't my city, your city, have these positive turns of events occur on our shores? We are a lot closer to Silicon Valley than Limerick could ever hope to be, yet here we are, on the brink, and nobody who can do anything about our many quandries seems to want to act.

The city could have large technology firms set up shop here. I dont believe fear of the big bad union is to blame for the lack of tenants. They are a shadow of their former selves. I compare them to the mafia. Once powerful and relevant, now mostly a caricature of itself, as if the union was playing the union in a bad Mexican soap opera. It's loved ones keep leaving it, and it isn't getting any younger, so it tries to wear a bit more eyeshadow to hide the crows feet, yet it just makes the union look even worse. Large, powerful companies know this, and do not take the union seriously any more than they do the government. They just want to make money, and they are not concerned with the rabblings of a disgruntled few. We have a large, willing workforce, plenty of cheap housing and tax breaks, its almost tailor made for a large group of companies to move right in, yet they stay far away from the party. I believe it is because they were never invited.

Why would you invite large companies here with thousands of high-paying jobs when your dream is a population with the median age of 68?

Our leaders want young, intelligent people to move away from this city as soon as possible. The retirees who will come in droves need nice, cheap real estate to live in. The second kick in the sturnum occured when the mayor proposed having a special charter flight to Edmonton and Calgary every week, for those of us who wanted to work in Alberta, yet were trepidatious due to family ties, homesickness, all of that gushy human emotion stuff. Mr. Francis assured us that he wanted people to come home on the weekend and spend their large western paycheques in Windsor stores, malls, bars and restaurants.

I believe he just made it easier for people to move out to Alberta permanently. House hunting during the week, we could easily bide our time before a house became available, and then make the jump gradually. Wouldn't you love to say your goodbyes slowly and gradually? Spending just one more weekend with your best friends, one at a time, then making the great leap due west? It makes it a lot less intimidating doesn't it? Maybe you could find all your friends who need good jobs a gig in Calgary, and you could all live there, start a family and be happy. You certainly have the means. They could then move out of their houses and apartments without a care in the world, and all their loose ends tied up. We have not seen the end of projects such as these. I'm waiting for the Windsor to Saskatoon special to be coming to an airport near you.

Grace Hospital, my birthplace, ironically will become a large retirement home in the next 5 years, possibly sooner. The Royal Marquis hotel on Howard Avenue, the site of many drunken hotel parties, is now a retirement resort. Yes, we have a resort in the city limits, and you are not welcome to live there if you aren't a senior. The largest segment of the North American population is reaching retirement age. They have one thing young people in this area simply do not have any longer. Expendable income. Seniors go shopping, they pay taxes, they vote, they go to restaurants and boutiques. Young people do none of those things with the frequency that older people do. Even if they did, there is simply more older people on this continent than young, so majority rules, children.

Will this city flourish in the next one hundred years? Absolutely. It will be a lovely, safe, shimmering place to live... if you are retired. Close to Detroit for our American residents, the warmest climate in all of Canada for our compatriots, packed with malls, shops, hospitals, restaurants, a huge, beautiful casino, and our most shining jewel, our beautful canal system, lined with shiny new upscale condominiums and boutiques! Windsor is just like Las Vegas and Venice put together! Yet it's safer, cleaner, closer, and a lot cheaper to live in! By the way, have you seen their housing prices?!

Hurry before it's too late.
One cloud is enough to eclipse all the sun - Thomas Fuller

Everyone knows a guy, or is related to someone, or has a cousin who used to know this guy who worked through a temp agency. I myself have worked through temp agencies, I did for sixteen months with the same company. I made eight, count em, eight dollars an hour for one year and four months with absolutely no benefits and no job security. For those of you who don't know what being a temp entails, I will enlighten you, and for those of you who actively are a temp as we speak, go have a beer. You earned it today.

As a temp, you are just that, temporary, and companies will remind you of that at every oppourtunity. I will list several actual "reasons" companies I have worked for have dismissed temps.
- Coming in late by three minutes after never being late before. This was during a snow storm when most of the permanent workers were thirty minutes late or more. And this worker walked that dark, hellish morning. He came in the door looking like he had just trekked across Antarctica. They wouldn't even let him warm himself.
- Not being able to come in to work overtime on a saturday because your child was deathly ill. This was after learning how to operate several machines, in some cases better and faster than the permanent employees.
- Calling in sick.
- Calling in to let your supervisor know you were going to be a few minutes late due to bad traffic.
- Disagreeing with a permanent employee.
- Talking, in any way.
- Using the washroom during work hours.

I could go on and on. The worst part about all of these instances is that all of those people had children, spouses, families to take care of. They had bills and debts, yet somehow our government lets companies pay full time workers eight dollars an hour without any benefits. I would not be able to sleep at night knowing that there are people in my employ who have to figure out how to survive with 278 dollars a week.

Temp agencies are legalized slavery. They take advantage of people desperate for a job, as many are in Windsor, and take advantage of the fact that many people will endure sweatshop conditions due to fear of losing their jobs.

Companies love temp agencies. You just pick up the phone, call one of them, and in an hour you have an extra set of hands. You can ask for a man or woman, old or young, whatever you feel like having that day. You don't have to pay them benefits, or any of that other crap, and they just keep coming back no matter how badly you treat them! The best part of all is when you tell them that there is a "good chance" they will be hired permanently and they work as hard as they can for eight nine days and poof! you call the temp agency and tell them not to send them in the next day. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall at their house. What am I saying, house? They all live in crappy apartments! Well, I guess someone is getting evicted!

(disclaimer) The preceeding paragraph was a slight exaggeration, but just a slight one. I have been in the same room as employers talking about temps as if they were cattle. It was sickening, and I never looked at anyone in a management position the same way again. This attitude seeps out of the front offices and onto the factory floor. Other workers begin to look at temps as second class, and the attitude pervades uncontrolled.

Bill 161, introduced in 2006 was an attempt to legislate the temp industry, which has grown 275 percent in the past six years. This caused several workers to come forward with their stories. They sounded a lot like mine, and many people I have known in the past. They too told of terrible work conditions, unsafe practises, denial of simple payouts of benefits after termination by employers and many other infractions. Temp agencies simply fall back on contracts they have you sign, in which you basically sign away all your basic rights as a worker in Ontario. They take advantage of the prospective worker's eagerness to have a job of any kind, and in some cases the person's poor education level. At no time is any stipulation on the contract clarified by anyone at the temp agency. After my tenure with the temp agency ended, I never recieved my last paycheque, or any other monies accrued. This often happens to many people. When they ask about this money, the temp agency simply refers them to the company they worked for, and that company simply refers them back to the temp agency.

I tried to find what ever became of bill 161 but was unsuccessful. Perhaps one of you could enlighten me.

My question is this: why are temp agencies legal? They exploit the weak and needy. Temp agencies legally make a lot of money off of the blood sweat and tears of workers every day in this city, and people just sit back and accept it. Is it simply because companies don't want to pay out benefits? Will companies move out of this city if these agencies were actually made illegal?
I will begin writing letters to the editor of the Windsor Star. I want people to be aware of the injustices that so many good people face on a daily basis. Awareness is the first step to ousting these criminal organizations from our city.

We also need to make people aware of bills such as 161, so that conditions for everyone can improve, not just general labourers. All workers in this country need improved legislation guaranteeing higher basic wages, better health care and rights to everyone. Isn`t that what
Canada is really all about? Human rights for everyone, good health care for all it`s citizens. Only through the internet, the great equalizer, can we really make people aware of these crimes against the people of Windsor and many other communities.

In France and England the government is afraid of the people, and makes it a point to legislate laws that make people`s lives better. In our `democracy`, the government knows we will not say anything and therefore knows the people are afraid to make waves. Making waves is the only thing that has ever given anyone freedom and happiness throughout all history. If we simply stay the course, we can expect many more days of walking to work, covered in snow, only to have to walk back towards a life of uncertainty, poverty and disappointment.